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As with any relationship, communication is vital. Writing up an agreement is an excellent way to open up communication between each other.
The negotiation process can help your relationship grow as you explore your goals and boundaries together. These digital contracts are also available in hard copy. Negotiating your agreement is fun and exciting. Drafting the terms take a long time, especially when starting from scratch. Most couples take weeks to perfect their deal. Save time with the above forms. A formal promise can involve anything from a paragraph to tens of pages in length. The more detailed the treaty, the safer and more certain your arrangement will be.
Most importantly, it needs to be customized to you. You should also be writing down your goals, wants, needs, rights and responsibilities to each other. Signing one of these forms is not about trying to make someone stay with you. Once you come to an agreement, refer back to it to see how your relationship develops and whether you are achieving goals.
The paperwork is always unique to the arrangement. In saying this, there are general classifications as to the kinds of relationships that exist including Mentoring, Protection, Coaching, Service Oriented, Fully Owned and Play Only.
Of course since the lifestyle is so diverse not all liaisons are going to fit into the above categories. Professional dungeons usually use a checklist for play activities. The following are just for fun between you and your play mate:. Not all partners will reduce their negotiations to writing. There is no requirement for you to have one and some people in the community actually refuse to ever enter into one. In saying so, there are many that do have an agreement drawn up and rely on it regularly.
Some even sign their contract as part of the collaring ceremony. This is also a very personal choice to be made between the parties involved. You can just have a private ceremony between yourselves, without any witnesses or anybody present. In long distance relationships, you may just accept the signature in digital form and sign when you meet in person.
If the document is central to a collaring ceremony, it is usually signed after the slave has been collared. Any way you choose is perfectly fine as long as you are both happy with it.
Agreements which have an expiry date also usually have a renewal clause. When initially starting with a new partner, the agreed period is typically relatively short about 3 to 6 months. Once the initial phase is up, you can terminate the arrangement and go back to how you were prior to the association. Alternatively, you may extend the duration on the exact same terms or you can enter into a fresh agreement and negotiate new terms.
What happens next is to be decided between you both. This is something you will need to discuss at the time based on what you both want and need. Each BDSM relationship is a unique arrangement between parties involved. Therefore negotiating and drafting provisions to reflect the arrangement must be done on an individual case by case basis. Even though such documents are never legally binding, signing your own personal covenant can give your arrangement direction and a place to turn to when there are disagreements.
It also amplifies a moral sense of being bound to the other person. Subs also set limits on sexual play and punishment and can stop role play at any time. In effect, Dominants have less power over submissives than Masters have over slaves. They are becoming more popular with parties often having multiple partners. Pets — an agreement whereby the pet slave is dehumanized and takes on the characteristics of an animal pet like a puppy or pony under the control of an Owner.
Scene only — negotiated prior to a sexual play scene and typically focus on a one off play event. The following are just for fun between you and your play mate: How does a BDSM contract need to be signed? What happens at the end of the contract period? What a typical agreement includes Each BDSM relationship is a unique arrangement between parties involved.
After the response the positive reinforcer is removed which weakens the frequency of the response. After a response a negative or aversive stimulus is added which weakens the frequency of the response. No longer reinforcing a previously reinforced response using either positive or negative reinforcement results in the weakening of the frequency of the response.
The behaviour is ignored and therefore weakens over time. This is true where a reinforcer is expected for behaviour. People will move toward new and different behaviours if they view these new and different behaviours as: Adding new positive conditions: Preserving existing positive conditions.
Avoiding new negative conditions. Eliminating existing negative conditions. Typically, people will shy away from new and different behaviours if they view these new and different behaviours as: Adding new negative conditions. Preserving existing negative conditions.
Avoiding new positive conditions. Eliminating existing positive conditions. Punishment works better when accompanied with reinforcement for proper behaviour: Julian Rotter stated that behaviour modification requires more than classical or operant conditioning alone.
He stated that individual differences are important in behavioural training. Rotter stated that behaviour is directed toward a need goal and behavioural potential and that expectancy, reinforcement value and psychological situations are factors that should be considered and are measurements for success. Techniques and Methods for behavioural change: Some techniques used for behavioural change in slave training are: Forced to act in appropriate way - as a slave.
Modelling the example of other slaves. Not rewarding bad behaviour. Punishing for bad behaviour after discussing and admitting bad behaviour. Practice correct behaviour and observe and make corrections. Journal entries to record good and bad behaviour. Removing stimulus of bad behavior. Learning to communicate deep thoughts and feelings. Practicing skills in public and private.
To change behaviour, including desired change, rewards and punishment. Involves token gained by proper behaviour and after a certain number is earned a reward is received. Coins can also be removed for bad behaviour. It describes the internal struggle a slave goes through in the process of accepting changes during training.
Slave feels a resistance to some changes. Slavery means the giving of personal freedoms to a Master and agreeing to allow a Master to make choices for the slave. Loss of these valued freedoms can foster resistance. Slave feels two opposing motivation forces. Therefore, change only occurs when the motivation to serve, obey and please overrides the pulling motivation to maintain the status quo.
The need to change must be stronger then the pull. Your job it to make the push strong and pull weaker or at least do not let it grow. When the push force is greater or equal to the pull force there is no change.
For behaviours to change the forces preserving status quo must be changed. Behavioural change occurs by: Increasing the motivation force for change. By weakening the force to maintain status quo. Or a combination of both. Change occurs in a three-step process, useful concept in slave training: The first step is unfreezing.
This is a critical first step in the change process. Unfreezing is encouraging the slave to discard old behaviour by shaking up the equilibrium state that maintains status quo. This is accomplished by eliminating rewards and showing that the old behaviour has no value to her slavery.
By unfreezing the slave accepts that change 16 needs to occur. The slave surrenders by allowing the boundaries for their status quo to be opened in preparation for change. The second step is the process of moving. In the moving state, new attitudes, values, and behaviours are substituted for old ones. This is accomplished by providing rationale for change, goals, motivation and training to develop skills.
The third step is refreezing. This is where the new attitude, values, and behaviour are established as the new status quo. This is accomplished by rewarding and institutionalizing the new. Plus after reading it I can see how It might be misunderstood too.
To be a slave it must make a choice to kneel. Therefore, it is forced to kneel to obey. These terms or any other terms do not imply directly or indirectly that non- consensual slavery is a part of the traditional BDSM. It is not now or ever. I added this because some might think that it would be okay. Slave, has its freewill, and consents.
It is never about forcing beyond what slave consents to in the relationship. Slave chooses with each order given to consent or not. Only by stepping out of the role of slave does give up him or her the internal helplessness to obey or the feeling of being forced to comply. And slave training rules. As in all aspects we are discussing consensual change. This is simple, slave must be happy to be your slave for it to work. The ability to display a full range of emotions indicates a high social interest.
The emotional reactions of a slave girl can aid or detract from her training and development. A slave should strive to become free of defensive and deceptive emotions. A master needs to focus on aligning emotions and sensations to her new slavery.
Emotional reactions to slave training are to be expected and can be managed. The way a slave, obeys, serves, and pleases the Master is directly affected by emotions. A Master must be continually aware during intense training of his slave emotional response to slave training.
If you get a negative reaction then you may need to examine the thinking behind it. During training a master should pay close attention to anger and anxiety to insure slave is in a state of mind that enables learning.
Anger, anxiety, fear or negative reactions can cause you to stop and explain what and why you are doing a training step or to alter the training. If the trainee is emotionally happy slave learns better and faster and is a better slave. Abuse creates negative thought which in return creates negative emotions. Besides the fact that abuse is illegal, in my opinion it would do more harm than good in training an object as a slave.
You want a slave that wants to be your slave. Abuse does not make a slave want slavery. If slave seems unwilling to complete a training step you believe should be completed before becoming your slave then you need to take the time and energy to understand its objection. You then address the objection thinking and emotions with reason. They range from primitive reflexes independent of thoughts to a complex cognitive assessment of the current situation.
Thus, emotions determine if we are happy or unhappy. They can be reflex actions based on past learning or well thought out. Prior learned core thoughts about events cause the emotional reaction we feel.
What we think perceives and value about an event causes the corresponding emotional response to it. Think - Feel - React in that order: Humans first think, then they feel, then they act. Normally, what we think about an event is based upon past experiences related to like or similar events.
The thought is dividing into two parts before we apply an emotion to it. First we perceive it, and then we value the information. After that, we apply an emotion based upon this perception and value. Therefore, deep roots past life experiences as well as current events create the emotional reactions to slave training.
It is more than just reacting to current slave training. Below is listed several ways that emotions are expressed emotional reactions in slave training: These same behaviours-shouting, crying and attracting- influence her feelings too. Physiological reactions when feeling something: Blushing when embarrassed, having high blood pressure when anxious, sexual arousal when attracted.
Actually psychologists do not yet know whether arousal precedes, accompanies, or follows an emotional reaction Weiner, Suppress the feelings and deny being upset or angry: Quite often people who deny their emotions think they are healthy and well adjusted, but they tend to have high blood pressure, high heart rates, an immune 19 deficiency, high incidences of cancer Temoshok, , difficulty sleeping, and lots of aches and pains.
Shout out orders like a drill sergeant when things go wrong or become charming to attract and influence someone. Blame others rather than assuming responsibility for your own feelings: No one else is responsible. In general, no one can make a person feel any way; it is usually your choice although some emotions are impossible to control-like a startle reaction or grief following the loss of a loved one. In short, you can change how you feel about an event.
A slave may not be aware of the actual nature of her emotions, but they can still have an effect on her life and training. Share your feelings with others. This involves many skills: Telling your story, as in therapy, self-help groups, or with friends, is usually healthy as long as you share your emotions and do not just stick to the objective facts and as long as the listeners are supportive.
Use your feelings as a barometer of your relationships with others and your self- acceptance. Negative, unwanted feelings are a sign that something needs to be changed. Goal of emotional training for a slave: The major goal in emotional training is to align thought and emotions that will project a positive self-image of the slavery and provide motivation for proper behaviour.
A side product of changing emotions is an emotional reaction to slave training. Emotional privacy should not be allowed. During training, it is often necessary that emotions be changed to reflect slavery. Often knowing the slaves feelings, is a huge aid in training. A feeling of helplessness in hiding emotions from her Master is necessary. A Master must explain the importance of never being able to hide emotions and sensation. This openness in revealing emotions are often more difficult for the slave than behavioural modifications.
People have private thoughts and fantasies that provide a view of their inner private logic. The thoughts must be shared with your Master. A slave has no privacy from its Master. Not normally considered a part of behavioural or cognitive techniques is the effect of the subconscious mind on emotions. Behavioural and cognitive theories deal with only the conscious processes. Hypnosis, if properly understood and administered, can deal with underlying past issues buried in the subconscious mind.
Regression techniques are used for this purpose. This, at times, can be a key area that must be explored for more rapid and efficient changes of emotions and core thinking. Techniques for altering slave emotions in slave training: Anger-Expression this technique can be expanded to other areas besides anger -explaining feelings of resistance or reactance. Anxiety-Management Training - think about and bring on unwanted feelings, then concentrate on reducing the feeling.
Hypnosis - direct suggestions and regression. Feeling-Identification and analysis - Clarification of feelings by interpretations or open discussion hypnosis can also be used Positive reinforcement - praise, recognition and encouragement. Success at completing goals. Some emotions that should be addressed are anger, envy, jealousy, and sadness.
Emotions and sensations in slave training bdsm lifestyle 21 2. Emotions and sensations is slave training Sensations are what the body feels with the five senses: Being aware of the sensations displayed by your slave can lead to insight into her emotions. The Master may find it advisable to give his slave sensations training. He would do this to increase particular sensations or allow him to control then with commands.
Examples of techniques used to control or change sensations: Focusing - examining thoughts and feelings; then expressing them. Threshold training - training to hold orgasms Sensations that should be addressed are headaches, tension and being unable to relax.
Creating a Positive Self-Image for your slave: Slave training goals and motivations - slave girl with arms bound - bdsm 2.
Image by China Hamilton 3. A slave having a positive self-image is key to successful consensual slave training and her mental health. Goals and striving to complete them are mainly based upon high self-image. With low self-image, there is less drive and less striving to reach happiness.
A low self-image is what all of us strives to overcome. Therefore the training must be consensual. No relationship will last with one partner trying to cause the other party to have a low self-image.
A positive self-image provides energy to the relationship. It gives motivation power. A slave with high self-image tends to accept greater and more meaningful goals. They view higher goals as a challenge to complete not a burden. They are more likely to become the slave you need and want. Slaves with a lower self-image seek the comfort of familiarity and less demanding purposes. Coping with training improves with better self-images.
You must know yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. What you feel can be sensed easily by your slave. A person can have a negative self-image based upon a private logic that involves faulty thinking. A Master during early slave training must make efforts to understand the current state of a slave self-image and if necessary establish methods to develop a more positive self-image.
Yes, we are a group of individuals with dominant and submissive desires looking for a partner. But that alone may not be enough if the trainee is severely affected by prior abuse or other low self-image problems.
This may mean you first seek the help of a professional in the field of psychology to deal with the issues. Self-image is one of the four major areas in the B. All are based on being safe, sane and consensual as clearly defined in the BDSM lifestyle. Private logic and slave training: Private logic is based upon convictions which are not usually in awareness. Both the subconscious and the conscious are included in our private logic. Private logic determines the type of lifestyle we live.
Conflicts arise when private logic does not agree with social aspects of our lives. A slave must feel in harmony with the environment in order to be successfully serving the Master in a long-term relationship. Their Master must challenge the private logic of his slave if there is a conflict. See, slave training is not always fun and games.
Slave training can involve probing the inner mind and developing positive attitudes. A slave must have a positive self-image in slavery. Fundamental beliefs are the basis of self-image: Often self-image will greatly affect the emotions expressed by an event.
Responses often change the same event depending on the growth of self-image. One can become emotional over 23 an event and still have no great internal turmoil, if you have a positive self- image. Slave is at peace in slavery and it feels natural. The slave develops a sense of belonging to the Master. The slave has learned to let go of negative ideas and feelings about being the property of another and feeling connected to the Master through slavery.
Slave is the property of the Master. This is all part of slave training. Examples of methods used to control or change imagery during slave training: The picturing of a positive image in your mind or picturing acting correctly. Goal rehearsal and coping skills: Practicing the goals that are set by the Master. Positive reinforcement is a huge part of slave training. It builds self-image if during slave training you tell them when all is doing well.
If slave is a natural submissive more than likely slave will want to please you. If so, use that to your advantage and tell slave when it makes you happy. This could include money, possessions, and other things that are valued in current culture. Satisfaction and pride can come from social interest and a connectedness with the Master. The willingness to serve, obey 24 and please for the benefit of the Master can provide not only life-long self- esteem, but earn a slave the esteem and appreciation of the Master.
Enslavement is by own will to serve you not your force. Positive Thought to change self-image from positive self-image reading to understand how it applies in slave training: Correct the internal voice thank thinks in extreme, especially when it is negative. Top thinking negative thoughts: Sometimes putting a stop on negative thinking is as easy as that. Why do you accept that behaviour from yourself?
Instead of focusing on what you think are your negative qualities, accentuate your strengths and assets. Accept flaws and being human: All people have flaws and make mistakes. Allow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself.
Try laughing instead of criticizing. Replace criticism with encouragement: Instead of nagging or focusing on the negative in yourself and others , replace your criticism with encouragement. You are not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a problem. Apologizing for things and accepting blame can be a positive quality, if you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on.
Just as everything is not your fault, not everything is your responsibility. Do feel responsible for your feelings: You create your own feelings and make your own decisions. Would you use those terms to describe a friend? Give yourself a break: Look at the brighter side of things: You can choose how to interpret comments and events, so try for the more positive interpretations. Try not to hang on to painful memories and bad feelings - this is a sure-fire way to encourage negative thoughts.
Thoughts are more than the normal thinking we do all the time in our conscious mind. Thoughts often spring from learned attitudes that are deep within our subconscious mind.
Life experiences have forged our beliefs, and these beliefs must be identified to effect permanent change. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. Changing fundamental beliefs thinking to mould a slave to serve a Master. Thoughts are one of four basic areas of slave training and like all the others are based on safe, sane, and consensual practices clearly defined in the BDSM lifestyle.
This is consensual slavery not forced slavery. This may mean replacing some of her attitudes. A slaves thoughts are changed by communication, reason, logic, and explaining your position as her master.
Thinking is not changed by force, it is changed the way she views something. If she views kneeling before you as negative it will never be a positive step in training. Therefore why she feels bad about kneeling needs to be addressed. If her desire is to be a slave, then most negative feeling can be overcome with communication. A slave has no privacy of thoughts transparency: No privacy of thoughts can be tolerated by a slave in training.
A slave should be trained to be open often called transparency to discussing its beliefs and private logic and feelings. Explaining what is expected of the and positive reinforcement is the best methods of getting a slave to become open.
Questions that are asked by the Master must be answered from slaves deepest feelings and thoughts. Only by doing so is change possible.
Communication with the Master is his way of discovering faulty thinking about BDSM, slavery and hundred other issues during her development. Holding in feeling has no place in slavery. Practice is often needed to develop this skill. Faulty thinking has to be recognized and challenged by the Master. Often a slave is unaware of these faulty cognitions until uncovered, discussed and challenged. Making an unjustifiable jump in logic by drawing a conclusion from evidence that is either insufficient or actually contrary to the conclusion reached.
Tending to exaggerate or magnify the meaning of an event out of proportion to the actual situation; generating a general rule from a single incident: I guess you could consider me a real social bust.
Thinking in extremes; allowing only two possibilities - good or bad, right or wrong, always or never. Making idealistic demands on oneself. Focusing on punitive self-statements rather than task orientation. According to Kern et al.
Asking the slave to generate alternative explanations for the situation that triggered the illogical conclusion. The slave is told to avoid being the direct object or the subject of a passive verb. In the case of responsibility projection, the personal statement is to be reconstructed in such a way that the slave becomes the subject of an active verb. Asking the slave to design a positive course of action based on the more reasonable of her alterative explanations.
This technique is used to assist slaves to recognize the poor fit between many of her fictions and reality and to practice a more responsible kind of self-talk.
Incorrect behaviour on the part of your slave is always associated with incorrect thoughts or a lack of attention to correct behaviour. At times, the best long term correction of undesirable behaviour is to explore the thought process that took place while the incorrect action was occurring.
Some of the best questions to ask are: Often views that are long held can be more effectively addressed by using of hypnosis. It helps explore the causes of beliefs and bring them to the surface. The beliefs can then be addressed using hypnosis techniques. Hypnosis can also be used to help in reinforcing new beliefs, relaxation and stress release.
Hypnosis is not a mind control method. Choice decision is an adaptation of reality therapy and choice therapy taken from: Reality Therapy In Action by W. When slave believes that the choice of a different behaviour will get closer to the goals set by the Master.
Part of this acceptance of slavery is that her choices in life now belong to the Master. A slave still has influence on the decisions made by the Master and advice and wisdom may be sought by him, but in the final analysis, it is his decision that a slave will follow. Changing and reinforcing the slaves thinking: Changing and or reinforcing the slaves thinking about slavery is more important than teaching to kneel correctly.
Full acceptance of slavery can only be achieved by recognition of it on a cognitive level. We first think, then we feel, then we act. Acceptance on a cognitive level may involve exploring subconscious thoughts and emotions. Examples of methods used to change or strengthen the cognitive processes: Lifestyle books and publications or web sites. Bring to service any mistaken attitudes. Journal entries or preparing instructions for reaching a goal.
Modelling others in the lifestyle. Teaching a slave to identify thoughts and method of blocking unwanted thoughts. Writing Essays and Research of Subjects.
Indirectly as a direction to go. Positive progress and negative thoughts and actions. Discussion Questions and answers. Rewards for Positive Ideas and Thoughts. Unconditional acceptance of slavery.
Albert Ellis and detailed in his many publications of which several are still available. Newer books authored in whole or part by Dr. History of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy As a young man, Ellis found himself longing for companionship yet experienced a severe fear of talking to women. In order to tackle his fear, Ellis decided to perform an experiment.
For a month, his visited a nearby park and forced himself to talk to different women. Over time, Ellis found that his fear of speaking to women had diminished considerably. Ellis later explained that this experience served as a basis for developing his approach to therapy, combining behavioural strategies with assessing underlying thoughts and emotions.
Ellis had trained as a clinical psychologist. As he treated patients, he became increasingly dissatisfied with the results offered by the traditional psychoanalytic approach to therapy that he was using at the time.
He noted that while his patients were able to become aware of their underlying problems, their behaviour did not necessarily change as a result. By the s, Ellis had started experimenting with other types of psychotherapy and was heavily influenced by philosophers and psychologists including Karen Homey and Alfred Adler as well as the work of behavioural therapists. According to Ellis, "people are not disturbed by things but rather by their view of things.
When people hold irrational beliefs about themselves or the world, problems can result. Because of this, the goal of REBT is to help people alter illogical beliefs and negative thinking patterns in order to overcome psychological problems and mental distress. Rational emotive behaviour therapy was one of the very first types of cognitive therapies. Ellis first began developing REBT during the early s and initially called his approach rational therapy.
In , the technique was redubbed rational emotive therapy and later rechristened rational emotive behaviour therapy in Ellis continued to work on REBT until his death in He argued, however, that it is our interpretation of these events that truly lies at the heart of our psychological distress.
Something happens in the environment around you. You hold a belief about the event or situation. You have an emotional response to your belief.
Identifying the underlying irrational thought patterns and beliefs. The very first step in the process is to identify the irrational thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that lead to psychological distress. In many cases, these irrational beliefs are reflected as absolutes, as in "I must," "I should," or "I cannot. By holding such unyielding beliefs, it becomes almost impossible to respond to situations in a psychologically healthy way.
Possessing such rigid expectations of ourselves and others only leads to disappointment, recrimination, regret, and anxiety. Challenging the irrational beliefs.
Once these underlying feelings have been identified, the next step is to challenge these mistaken beliefs. In order to do this, the therapist must dispute these beliefs using very direct and even confrontational methods. Ellis suggested that rather than simply being warm and supportive, the therapist needs to be blunt, honest, and logical in order to push people toward changing their thoughts and behaviours.
Facing irrational thought patterns can be difficult, especially because accepting these beliefs as unhealthy is far from easy. Once the client has identified the problematic beliefs, the process of actually changing these thoughts can be even more challenging. While it is perfectly normal to feel upset when you make a mistake, the goal of rational emotive behaviour therapy is to help people respond rationally to such situations.
When faced with this type of situation in the future, the emotionally healthy response would be to realize that while it would be wonderful to be perfect and never make mistakes, it is not realistic to expect success in every endeavour. You made a mistake, but that's okay because everyone makes mistakes sometimes. All you can do is learn from the situation and move on. It is also important to recognize that while rational emotive behaviour therapy utilizes cognitive strategies to help clients, it also focuses on emotions and behaviours as well.
In addition to identifying and disputing irrational beliefs, therapists and clients also work together to target the emotional responses that accompany problematic thoughts.
Clients are also encouraged to change unwanted behaviours using such things as meditation, journaling, and guided imagery. REBT can be effective in the treatment of a range of psychological disorders including anxiety and phobias as well as specific behaviours such as severe shyness and excessive approval-seeking.
He is constantly determining proper training techniques that take into account as: Conscious and subconscious events that have led to the current thought process. Open and honest communication is of critical importance in this process: He then develops training techniques for each area. These steps are geared to change each area or only the areas that need attention.
BDSM is designed around much more than just behavioural modification. Slave decides that the choices now belong to the Master and the choice is to obey.
Private logic is the way we see ourselves, others, and life and is our personal philosophy that our lifestyle is based on. Private logic is not changed by behavioural modification alone. Slave lifestyle includes a personal philosophy of being owned by Master. BDSM in reality, provides no new method of training that has not been used by some Masters for a long time. It merely provides a systematic way of looking at what we already do.
In each training event that occurs, the Master can use BDSM techniques to determine what direction that training will take. There are many views and theories related to personality and training in the field of psychology. A Master should find a view that closely reflects his own personal beliefs. Each theory has its own unique way of expressing life, personality, training and psychology. Slave training makes the following assumption: Our private logic fundamental beliefs determines the way we see ourselves and it also determines the lifestyle we live.
Slave becomes his slave when she accepts that she is owned by her Master and it becomes part of her lifestyle. All behaviour is goal directed. Therefore, goals need to be established in slave training. In addition, motivation to accomplish the goals cannot be ignored.
Training is a re-education and reorientation process. Individuals are striving for significance and superiority.
All striving is motivated by attempts to compensate for feelings of inferiority. Accepting defeat and inferiority feeling can have negative effects In other words, goals are set in order to improve the future and we are motivated to reach goals that make us better than we are at the present.
Who is the slave Training designed for: It is assumed that training will result in the slave granting freedom of choice to Master. There is no right or wrong relationship style and nothing written within this website is intended to imply otherwise. This is a slave training questionnaire and bdsm lifestyle checklist for anyone you are considering for training as a slave whether boy or girl. The slave training questionnaire is as follows: Questionnaire for consideration as a slave apprentice. This may be the most detailed questionnaire you have ever completed about yourself.
The potential slave agrees to answer all questions with total honesty and as much soul searching as she is able. This is required in regards to each and every question. The basis of the relationship with your potential Master and your own growth as His slave demands total honesty and relaxed, focused attention to all details requested.
Copy and paste this form, answer the questions and then send to me via e-mail within four days to the Master of your choice. The spacing of this 36 questionnaire does not determine the length of your answers.
A questionnaire expected to be returned via e-mail within four 4 days: Contact telephone number and time you normally can be reached: Part One of slave training questionnaire: General overview and Information 1. How many years of experience do you have? How long have you known of your interest in bdsm?
What is your sexual orientation? What kind of relationship are you presently able to provide to a Master? Main interest a Sensual and physical b Psychosexual and mental c Both equally d Serving your Master 6. Your level of interest in bondage: Detailed questions All answers are expected to elaborate on the subject matter in question.
All answers shall be a minimum of one full sentence. What being a slave is going to do for you? Why do you have the need for a Master? Psychologically, emotionally, and sexually.
Do you prefer your Master to be: Rough, tough, and stubborn? Firm, stern, yet considerate? Do you prefer to: It is a low priority in my life. Serving is more important. Comments, on any area s not covered by the questionnaire that you feel are relevant in your case that have not been addressed. This is a detailed part of the slave training questionnaire: Start at the beginning and take it Master by Master.
Part Three of slave training questionnaire: Experience Level and Interests Your potential Master does not necessarily engage in any of the following- described conduct.
However, it is essential that you provide scrupulously accurate answers so I can realistically assess your qualifications as well as 40 whether I need to address other issues in your personality besides your desire to serve.
For each item, you need to provide two answers: NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances a hard limit. NO means basically a hard limit and that you have absolutely no desire to do this. Means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you. Means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis. Means the activity is a wild turn-on for you and you would like it as often as possible. Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Master to know in the margin to the right.
If so, ever without condoms?: Anal plug public, under clothes: Arm and leg sleeves arm binders: Ben wa balls or kegel balls: If yes how long did you wear? Bondage public, under clothing: Cages locked inside of: If you have had them used where?: Collars worn in private: Collars worn in public: Douches as part of play: Double Penetration anal and cunt: Erotic dance for audience: Flame fire play play: Forced nudity around others: Given away to another Master temp: Servicing another Master upon command: Harnessing leather and or rope: Homage with tongue non-sexual: Hot Creams Ben-Gay on genitals: Hot oils on genitals: If you have experienced, where?: If you have explained procedure: Modeming for erotic photos: Photographing training sessions with your Master: If a type not listed then explain: If yes to punching, explain Punishment Scene: If yes, describe the scene play Pussy torture: Restrictive rules on behaviour: Serving as a maid: Serving as toilet urine: Serving other Masters supervised: Serving other Masters unsupervised: Speech restrictions when, what: Strapping full body beating: Supplying new partners for Master Swallowing semen: Swapping with one other couple: TENS Unit electrical toy: Violet Wand electrical toy: Video recordings of you: It can be broken down into three stages: Understanding, accepting and desire.
Understanding reasons for change The first stage is largely cognitive, where people understand that there are good reasons for change and that it is not just some management whim. This may occur as a slow dawning of truth or as a sudden realization. At some point the truth sinks in and may be accompanied by an initial emotional response, often negative and possibly based in the fear of losing position, power and so on.
This can trigger responses such as the Kobler-Ross cycle, Fight-or- Flight or other coping. Presenting the reasons for change may involve explaining the diagnosis that led to the conclusion of the needed change. It can help also if this is accompanied by an emotional appeal that demonstrates leadership concern and which moves people towards acceptance.
Accepting necessity for change Understanding is not enough. In order to reach a full willingness, the realization of the needed change must reach a cognitive and emotional acceptance that the change must take place. Acceptance may also be a short phase, particularly where the person sees the change in a positive light, typically where they will personally gain in some way. It may well need the completion of internal psychological stages, such as the Kobler-Ross cycle, where initial resistance to change is exhausted or overcome and the person finally accepts that change is inevitable.
In such cases a process of facilitation can be helpful to develop acceptance. Desire to engage in change For the willingness to really bite, the acceptance must be transformed into a real desire to get going with the change.
The internal motivation of individuals may vary, for example being: Depending on the desire and passion, roles for engagement in change may be used to both tap and enhance individual motivations. Sometimes only when people are actually doing things for the change do their motivations finally align. A carefully staged set of actions can help this by getting people going perhaps even with appropriate use of some ideas from conversion.
Willing to do, but has no special appeal. Usually LIKE doing, on an occasional basis. LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis. What you think is your best physical feature: What you think is your worst physical feature: Do you have problems controlling your temper: Do you have any tattoos or piercing?
Part Four of slave training questionnaire: Do you use drugs? Have you been in a drug abuse program? Have you been diagnosed with mental problems?
Do you have any disabilities visible or invisible? Do you wear contact lenses? Do you have any special dietary needs or restrictions? Are you allergic to dogs, cats, or other? Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases? Are you subject to any form of loss of consciences or seizures? Do you have panic attacks or phobias? Do you now or have you suffered from depression? What was your last illness that resulted in hospitalization and when?
List you sex toys below and tell me the ones used most often. Describe your abilities in domestic service such as cooking, cleaning, General House work. Sex toys and bdsm toys and equipment inventory: List sex toys you own and bdsm toys. List and describe any bdsm equipment and furniture. Relationships Current marital status: Have you been married before: Have you ever been unfaithful to your lover or Master?
Is there any reason why you would not be able to commit hundred percent? Circumstances, frequency and preference: What is the most you have ever cum in a 24 hour time period? Negotiating your agreement is fun and exciting. Drafting the terms take a long time, especially when starting from scratch.
Most couples take weeks to perfect their deal. Save time with the above forms. A formal promise can involve anything from a paragraph to tens of pages in length. The more detailed the treaty, the safer and more certain your arrangement will be. Most importantly, it needs to be customized to you. You should also be writing down your goals, wants, needs, rights and responsibilities to each other. Signing one of these forms is not about trying to make someone stay with you.
Once you come to an agreement, refer back to it to see how your relationship develops and whether you are achieving goals. The paperwork is always unique to the arrangement. In saying this, there are general classifications as to the kinds of relationships that exist including Mentoring, Protection, Coaching, Service Oriented, Fully Owned and Play Only.
Of course since the lifestyle is so diverse not all liaisons are going to fit into the above categories. Professional dungeons usually use a checklist for play activities. The following are just for fun between you and your play mate:.
Not all partners will reduce their negotiations to writing. There is no requirement for you to have one and some people in the community actually refuse to ever enter into one. In saying so, there are many that do have an agreement drawn up and rely on it regularly.
Some even sign their contract as part of the collaring ceremony. This is also a very personal choice to be made between the parties involved. You can just have a private ceremony between yourselves, without any witnesses or anybody present. In long distance relationships, you may just accept the signature in digital form and sign when you meet in person. If the document is central to a collaring ceremony, it is usually signed after the slave has been collared.
Any way you choose is perfectly fine as long as you are both happy with it. Agreements which have an expiry date also usually have a renewal clause.
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