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First, remember that you are destined to be together. It's a shame he's married, but that's just bad luck, and has nothing to do with why you want him. Like that time you were a toddler, and you chose blonde Barbie to play with, but then your friend chose brunette Barbie, and suddenly you realised you really wanted brunette Barbie all along! Second, reassure yourself that his wife doesn't understand him.
And they're not in love. It's just a marriage of convenience. They were in love once, but then she changed, or he changed, or maybe he was never really in love with her at all in the first place — he just married her because that was the right thing to do. Remind yourself, too, that it's OK to have sex with him because his wife won't have sex with him, and men need to have sex!
I mean, she might not want to have sex with him because he's a complete prick to her but, hey, if she refuses to have sex with him then he has every right to get it elsewhere and she can't blame you for stepping in.
Now, of course, he'll lose his kids, at least temporarily, when he runs off with you. And yes, he'll miss not living with them anymore, but your love will be enough to compensate! He might cry a lot for the first few months. He might get horribly depressed living away from his kids. But that will pass in a year or three! And, eventually, his kids will come to visit you on weekends, and you'll be a big, happy, blended family. The kids won't hate you for breaking up their parents' marriage.
They won't resent you for making their mum sad. They will accept you, love you and you'll take the girls out for manicures and the boys out to Star War movies and it will be rainbows and unicorns forevermore. His ex will hate you, probably forever, but really, that won't affect your life. It's not like you will ever need to see her. I mean, sure, she'll be in your life forever, because she's the mother of your partner's kids, but it won't affect you much.
Except for at every birthday party, school event, medical emergency, graduation, engagement, wedding, birth of grandchildren, etcetera for the rest of all of your lives. If your partner is rich, you'll have a very nice lifestyle once you move in together. Unless, of course, he loses most of his assets in the divorce settlement, which is likely if his ex keeps the kids. But you'd love him for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, so that doesn't really matter to you at all.
His friends will be horribly conflicted, and most will side with his ex, but that's a good thing! You guys will be able to focus more on your set of friends. Your partner might miss his friendship circle, but clearly they weren't true friends if they deserted him, so he'll get over it and move on. Remember that there will be lots of pressure on you to compensate for the fact that your partner left his wife for you.
Every time you have a fight, every time he feels low, every time his kids leave to go back to their mum's, he may look at you and wonder what the hell he's done. But you can cope with that. You will make all his sacrifice worthwhile. Your love will heal his wounds. Finally, you'll never quite be able to forget that your partner was cheating on his wife to be with you.
You'll never be able to fully relax, because you know that if he can do it once, he can do it again. You know he can lie. You know he can manipulate. You know he can gaslight. But he won't, of course, because this time, it's different. This time, it's true love. You two are destined to be together. Kerri is an author, columnist and mother of three. Her latest book is 'Out There: A Survival Guide for Dating in Midlife'. A single woman's guide to sleeping with a married man.
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His friends will be horribly conflicted, and most will side with his ex, but that's a good thing! You guys will be able to focus more on your set of friends. Your partner might miss his friendship circle, but clearly they weren't true friends if they deserted him, so he'll get over it and move on.
Remember that there will be lots of pressure on you to compensate for the fact that your partner left his wife for you. Every time you have a fight, every time he feels low, every time his kids leave to go back to their mum's, he may look at you and wonder what the hell he's done. But you can cope with that. You will make all his sacrifice worthwhile. Your love will heal his wounds.
Finally, you'll never quite be able to forget that your partner was cheating on his wife to be with you. You'll never be able to fully relax, because you know that if he can do it once, he can do it again. You know he can lie. You know he can manipulate. You know he can gaslight. But he won't, of course, because this time, it's different. This time, it's true love. They dress, look, and act as if all is well with them.
Some even go as far as boasting about purchases they made for their family. Some women see and hear this and want the man to do that for them too. Women are attracted to the men's achievements. Some of them work extra hard and push themselves to attain certain things to give their family the best of everthing, like a house and a steady career, for example. She wants to prove to the man that she's better than the wife — it's sort of a validation of how attractive she is.
He's not beneath telling you how horrible his wife is or that they fight constantly and he just can't take her drama and abuse any longer. These excuses may not be anything more than bold-faced lies. He and his wife may actually have a reasonably happy marriage and you'd be none the wiser. After all, when it comes down to it, how can you trust anything a man says to you when he's in the process of trying to make you the other woman?
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Aug 15, · There are, however, married men who are looking to aggressively control just one woman as their mistress and will choose a single woman so they can isolate her more easily from family and friends. Find Married Women Seeking Men listings on Oodle Classifieds. Join millions of people using Oodle to find great personal ads. Don't miss what's happening in . Single men want married women as well. Submitted by My Wife is a Hotwife on February 10, - am I'm one of those who enjoy the knowledge that their wives date other men.