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When you were raised, your father seemed to go out of the way to shun her Jewishness, and yet you said you identified very strongly as a Jew. Was that a rebellion against your father? The more my father denied being Jewish the more she was calling attention to that. Also, I grew up in a very lower middle class, Irish and Italian Catholic neighborhood, and we were the first Jews to move in.
And it was that period where casual anti-Semitism was still very much present. I was called a kike by kids in the neighborhood. I had a very cultural sense of being Jewish, not a religious sense, which is pretty typical of assimilated Americans of that period.
But one of the things I learned by working on the book with my father was a discovery of why I did have what seemed to be this mysterious attachment to being Jewish. I came out of this experience with wonderful loving family members from Australia to Israel to Switzerland.
It was a great unexpected gift of the book project. Did it have something to do with experiencing the Holocaust the way she did? I think it was a lot of things, including just her personality.
Even as a very small child, my father was difficult and would have eruptions of anger and cut people off. It was a very difficult childhood, where my grandparents were hardly around, and my father was raised by a series of nannies and maids. You can see why my father would end up not trusting very many people. She did seem to go through most of her life in a disguise, from the Nazi arm band, to the macho man. Quite a curious way of describing oneself.
You were finally able to connect with your father and communicate with her after her surgery. Would you say that it was ultimately a gift that she went through with this change? I mean, we could have connected without that.
My father and I could have broken down that wall earlier. And I hold myself partly responsible too for that.